July 2017 – Page 2

Jamaica Red Ale is actually a Stout or IPA

6.6 percent alcohol.

Raggae music sucks. My girl lives near the Fairgrounds and I hear their raggae concert annually. The music sucks and has like 2 chords. Now the modern music in Jamaica is way better. The rhythms are way more (modern) sophisticated and interesting. The vocals much less predictable and about twice as fast/ nuanced. It is music to bang/bling to over there, not to act like some 60’s Goodwill refuge who listens to Ben Harper/Phish on the side.

What about Jamaican beer? The common one, Red Stripe, is overrated and tangy. It does have cool packaging.

Stoner culture and the legalization of weed in California and other states has resulted in a brain-dead popularity of Jamaican culture by the American masses, who are stuck in a romanticized but boring era of Bob Marley. This beer is something I buy while stoned and sick of the other brands there (which rule) such as Holland’s Grolsch (lager). I have been to the Grolsch brewery in Holland by the way.

Jamaican Ale is advertised as a red. But its actually bitter and full , deep hops like an IPA. Hints of pinecone permeate the palate. Chocolate malts perhaps too. For a red drink Murphey’s or Killians Irish brands. Look for Aussie or S. African girls on vacation at that pub of you are in foreign lands and be aggressive.

Pale Ales are also sometimes mis-advertised. Sierra Nevada is not a Pale Ale, it is too bitter. Bass is a true Pale Ale.

Would I recommend this beer Jamaican Ale? Yes, but as a stout or an IPA – not a ‘red’.

D.C. Cab is a Riot

Unlike today’s comedies which tend to be juvenile and mean-spirited, Joel Schumacher’s 1984 comedy “D.C. Cab” is genuinely funny and a quick-witted affair. Although unheralded at the time, this flick about a struggling cab company has matured into comic gold. Starring Mr. T, Gary Busey, Paul Rodriguez. and Adam Baldwin, this film has very little plot but nonstop madcap antics. Although well-deserving of its R rating, the film is never sexist or disgusting.

Additionally, all the stars deserved better than they got; the film is much funnier than the current Will Ferrell comedy “The House,” for example. In this film and the classic “Car Wash,” which he also wrote but did not direct, Schumacher displays a real skill for ethnic humor. He knows that plot is unimportant but a quick pace and constant jokes are key. Based on this film, it is borderline tragic that Mr. T. didn’t get better roles. He is great here. This film seems to lack the cult following it deserves, so we here at GROIN are putting it in our hall-of-fame as one of the greatest comedies of the 1980’s. We recommend renting it or buying the DVD today!

The Magus : An Occult Film

Leonard Maltin gives it a BOMB and Michael Caine hates it. Nevertheless, “The Magus” is one of the most interesting films of the 1960’s. Caine plays a man who ends up on an island presided over by the great Anthony Quinn, an island where nothing is as it seems. Quinn’s character, who seems inspired by Alastair Crowley and Prospero from “The Tempest” in equal parts, puts Caine and the audience through a constant psychological and intellectual mind.

Assumptions are continually uprooted, as Candice Bergen and Anna Karina romance and bedevil Caine. By the end, both Caine and the audience have been on quite a journey. This little-seen gem, written by John Fowles from his famous novel, comes from 1968, when it was considered OK to challenge an audience. This film is strange enough to rival “The Prisoner” and David Lynch. If you enjoy the cast and Bizarro Cinema, by all means rent or buy the DVD and give it a go!

All Eyez on…

Rather bored with what is on Netflix, I decided to go to the local cinema and check out two films with interesting subject matter. The first film, “Beatriz at Dinner,” stars Salma Hayek and John Lithgow and is a dark satire about how two strangers from wildly different ethnic and economic backgrounds end up meeting and clashing at a fancy, uncomfortable dinner at a mansion. Hayek plays a hard-working Mexican lady having a very bad day, and Lithgow plays a Donald Trump-like real estate mogul. Both actors bring shadings to their characters so that they are more complex than you might expect. Hayek subtly suggests that her character may be TOO good for this world, and Lithgow’s character, though clueless and boorish, makes a real attempt to connect with and understand her. This is a strange film and at first I wasn’t sure if I liked it, but after about half an hour of reflection I figured out that I really liked it. It’s short, unpredictable, and has real sting. I’ll not soon forget it.

“All Eyez on Me” is the new Tupac biopic, and it’s interesting though uneven. It covers, though it rarely reflects on, the tragic life of Tupac Kapur, mentioning his family connections to the Black Panthers, his success as Hamlet in school, his struggling but sincere mother, his trouble with the law, his friendship with Jada Pinkett Smith, his tumultuous tenure at Death Row Records, and his tragic and mysterious death. This is way too much for a 140-minute film to cover,, and as a result parts of it come off better than others. I did appreciate, however, the demystification of the gangster lifestyle. The last third of the movie is a trip through Hell, and the filmmakers deserve credit for depicting it frankly. Overall, however, this film is not good enough to recommend. Although a good attempt has been made, the film just doesn’t work. Very few characters are portrayed in-depth, and as a result the film becomes confusing. The actor playing Tupac is OK but not great. Still, if the subject matter interests you, you might want to check it out.

In conclusion, although I only liked one of these two indie films, they are both a nice break from summer Hollywood fluff. I hope interesting indie films continue to get wide releases because they can be worthwhile. “The Beguiled” is an another example that I will review soon.

Rough Night (at Bernie’s?)

I wasn’t expecting “Rough Night” to be very good because the reviews have been mixed to negative. Surprisingly, though, it was good. The film chronicles five women on a bachelorette party, including Scarlett Johansson as the bride-to-be and Kate McKinnon as an oddball chick from New Zealand. While the straight-laced husband-to-be is having a riotously dull bachelor party, the women are determined to party it up with sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll. Unfortunately, one of the women is so high that she knocks a male stripper to the ground, accidentally killing him. From that point on, the women conspire to cover up their accidental crime, while the husband frantically drives toward his wife, clad only in his underwear, to “win her back” because he erroneously thinks she dumped him.

What I liked about this movie is that it is funny, tells a story, and isn’t afraid to take some dark turns. I was worried this would turn out like “Bad Moms,” but it is closer to “The Hangover” meets “Weekend at Bernie’s” and “After Hours.” The actors are all very good and the film only slightly cheats on its premise. I felt that I had seen a wild but well-thought-out comedy. The Demi Moore cameo is fun too. Watch for the parody of the ending of “The Lost Boys”; it’s great! In short, if you’re looking for politically incorrect hilarity, check out “Rough Night,”

Sharks Should Trade Thorton

The San Jose Sharks have re-signed possible future Hall of Famer Joe Thorton to a one-year $6.5 million contract. The Sharks first signed him like a billion years ago, after he failed to make the Boston Bruins competitive. For many years Thorton http://www.espn.com/nhl/player/_/id/939/joe-thornton has played hard and consistent, but there is little reason to believe the Sharks can win a cup with him (even at a good priced contract) because he refuses to stand on front of the net and screen the goalie on offense. Ever since the NHL shrunk the distance behind the net , it has negatively impacted Thorton’s ability to play Wayne Gretzky style , dishing the puck for assists from behind the opposing net. This also explains his success in international play tournaments as opposed to NHL action.

Thorton has had many years to find a way to compensate for the rule change behind the net. Also the era he has led where the team has long hair and beards (like homeless people) has a negative effect on the team, which lacks focus. The Sharks would do well to deal Thorton to a team where he could have better chemistry. He never recovered from having Jonathan Cheechoo get injured into being a minor leager. Thorton needs a Cheechoo (in his prime ) type player to feed the puck to in front. Thorton and Pavelski used to have this magic somewhat, but it has faded.

Hollwood Lacking Boobs

Note: I was going to put tits pic in this article but I get nothing but shit from people hence this will be my last post

An actress is saying large breasted women are not landing acting roles in Hollywood anymore: http://people.com/bodies/emily-ratajkowski-breasts-keep-her-from-getting-work/

I saw a film called ‘Rough Night’ last week with four female stars at a wild bachelorette party, and there were sex innuendo jokes through the whole film, but no tits. Demi Moore was in the film in a cameo and she remained clothed too. America’s bipolar Puritanical streak results to where everyone makes sex innuendos, but skin is increasingly hidden like a Middle East regime. No wonder all of the sexual repression in America these days results in a battle of the sexes, as well as lots of anger throughout society of the sexually oppressed. Personally, I fight back by having sex upwards three times a day with my girlfriend when possible. My gf has an amazing body.