Category: Uncategorized

St. Ives: A Bronson Classic

Whenever you’re looking for quick action fix, you can’t do any better than a 1970’s or a 1980’s Charles Bronson film, but for different reasons. The 1970’s films like “Death Wish,” “The Mechanic,” and “Hard Times” are genuine classics, whereas the 1980’s films like “Death Wish 2,” “Death Wish 3” and “Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects” are so-bad-they’re-good. “St. Ives,” a 1976 film I just watched, falls into the former category. It has a “Chinatown” film noir feeling that I really like, and the music is appropriate for the time.

The cast includes John Houseman, Jacqueline Bisset, Maximallian Schell, and also Jeff Goldblum and Robert Englund as hoods. Bronson plays Raymond St. Ives, a crime reporter and ex-policeman who is hired by the nefarious John Houseman to retrieve five stolen ledgers. Many deaths ensue, and Bronson ends up spear-heading a robbery to get revenge for a job gone wrong. My favorite scene in the movie is the first, in which Bronson is being confronted and accused at gunpoint, which throws us into the narrative right away because we want to know why he’s in trouble. This film is classic 1970’s cinema because it combines action, conspiracy, and a detective story. The director, J. Lee Thompson, made “Cape Fear” and “The Guns of Navarone,” as well as 8 other Charles Bronson films. This is probably the best one. If you’re looking for a classic 1970’s Charles Bronson experience look no further than “St. Ives”!

Dragon’s Dogma Throws Down the Gauntlet

Want a game with substance but also lots of action? Try “Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen” for the XBOX 360 and XBOX 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geFjhqqER1k

If you want to be killing monsters in a vast fantasy universe, this one’s for you! It’s comparable to “Diablo III” but I like it better! Camcom games tend to have great playability. The monsters are more interesting and the game moves faster. It also, even on the 360, utilizes top-notch graphics, and is just plain fun. One of the awesome things about the 360 is that you can get a great game for less than $20. It’s a dream for bargain hunters. In short, an immersive, visionary experience!

Namco Museum is a Classic

At my local Gamers in Control I found a really good one. The “Namco Museum and Virtual Arcade” for XBOX 360 is a wonderful collection of some of the best arcade and online games spanning a period of about 30 years. The games include several of the “Pac-man” games, the “Dig Dug” games, the “Galaxian” games, the “Pole Position” games, and the great “Rolling Thunder.” Each game has been painstakingly ported over, with wonderful graphics and controls. “Rolling Thunder,” for example, is just as fast-paced and difficult to play as ever. It’s unbelievable for a 1986 game:

The “Pole Position” games are still really fun, and the precedent they set for racing games continues today. In total, there are about 37 games on this collection, and all of them are very interesting and rather trippy. I’ve played every vintage game collection on the XBOX 360, and I would definitely say that this one is the best. So if you see it at the store and are ready for some retro gaming, buy this collection!

Rant

Trump did very well on the North Korean crisis. He did great against Syria. Also helped Mosul and the Raqqa victories. The Russian ‘spy’ scandal has not produced a single ‘spy’. Fell one vote short of major victory on health care. Most of the current events are manufactured hysterias.

None of the people in the ranks are any good, US has lost many long wars and the generals nor the CEO’s are to be trusted as authorities on zilch. It’s small businesses that have been getting the short end of the stick, while big businesses skirt paying taxes. Larry Kudlow, Pat Buchanan , Steve Forbes and some guys like that are really who should be in the cabinet. There are too many advisors , and all too many cabinet positions, hence leaks.

Ivanka , Jared , the generals and most of the people Trump appointed are no good . So them sticking around or quitting or getting fired is of no consequence. His presidency was crippled by leaks, which have slowed since the firing anyhow . In this country you can still support who you want. Trump still has a lot of support. Just not on TV or in California . No he doesn’t need the cities or mainstream media’s approval , as evidenced by the election results. His support is in the south, mid-west and the rust belt, and then on the internet and radio.

One last weird thing about the Nazi rally is the white shirts tan pants theme they were uniformed in was the same outfit that originally was reported by eyewitnesses at the san bernadino terror attack as well as the security guards from KRAFT International (mercs. named after the American Sniper) who were seen guarding the Boston marathon, coupled with the fact that the LA based PR firm was recruiting paid crowds in Charlottesville, NC – 3 hours away from the VA rally.

Trump was proven right on NK and on ISIS threat (Spain attack) in the same weekend hard to believe he gets no credit for that stuff.

Personally , I am having trouble believing the concept that somehow Islamic boogeymen want to attack peace-nick European nations everyday. I don’t see how it furthers any objective for anyone except for the security state, even for ISIS. As time goes on , it gets harder to accept the notion that on 911 somehow airline security allowed 19 armed males to simultaneously boarded planes. without having apprehended more than say one of them. Or letting the Pentagon get hit is also just kinda unbelievable from a national security standpoint that that building was not defended.

I guess its possible.

Right now it seems like the push for self-automated driving cars is being pushed by the security state so they can track and control more. Perhaps they are framing people. Why do perps. in those incidents always magically leave their passports at the scene?

Trump condemned the right wing as much as anyone else the one day in Virginia. The argument he got into with the press validated his point of view on the topic. This was all related to the press trying to falsely pretend that the left wing protesters were non-violent. Well the fact is that all of Trump’s kids married into Jewish families. All his grandkids are of Jewish faith. The left has also made up a lie that Trump’s father was racist, when the fact is Trump’s dad built a holocaust memorial.

What the RHINOS and left want are they want ‘hate speech’ to become unprotected speech, meaning you could then start arresting people for saying things that the state deems racist. This is basically how the law is in the EU now. In the EU, if you say something racist you do jail time. It is similar to an inquisition now. Now they say ‘racist’ instead of ‘heresay’.

Basically, if you think US history is great you are considered hateful.

The other thing you have to realize is just how unpopular the Mitch M. Senate Majority Leader, and McCain types are. When they appear on TV groveling, and trying to appear holier than thou on race issues (which is ridiculous to do – what does it prove?) they just confirm that they are really self hating and are basically just Democrats (that’s why they are called RHINOS).

If Trump leaves the party fundraising for the GOP will COMPLTELY DRY UP. The GOP will have ZERO funds to run on and zero enthusiasm from its base in the mid-terms and is headed for a complete slaughter at the polls by Dems ( who will turn out en masse ) the end result will be Trump cutting deals with the Dems as an fiercely independent Savage Nation conservative, meanwhile the GOP loses both houses and things will actually ironically work out better. Why?  Because the current GOP Congress has proven itself to be the most pathetic majority party in the history of the nation.

Rave Moshing Sucks

Two weeks ago, I went to check out Toxic Summer, a big rave in San Jose put on by Wobbleland (which I had been to before). Wobbleland had some good DJ’s like Nero. Some DJ named LaXX was performing when I arrived. His music was so bad that it would have been better suited for a laxative commercial. It was trying as a listener because it was so repetitive. Long buildup, stupid house beat like Pitbull, followed by rap beat, and then repeat (over and over). There were the usual chicks in G strings at this dubstep concert, but they were mostly pale and not having a nice bod. Guys were walking around super fast in groups like they were on something. Where were they storming to? The bathroom.

My lady was hella fine of course though she kept making me wait for her by the bathroom (making me look like a loser). Anyhow this DJ also kept stopping playing and would then turn all the lights on and say lame uninspiring stuff. At one point DJ says ‘ I wanna see a huge fucking moshpit right there!’ and then you see the floor turn into a pit with a buncha guys with mouse masks etc moshing. I was already annoyed because someone earlier football smashed me from behind while I was dancing with my gf (out of nowhere). I stared at him for a while and he didn’t seem to want to try it again. Party was kinda lame , so left and got drunk with the neighbors instead.

Pathetic Mod Rock Whooping

I am at the gym almost everyday hitting the weights. And everyday I have to suffer through this bland contemporary, offensively ball-less pop music with lots of ‘O-Oh , O-oh, Oh- O Oh’ over an anemic beat and uninspired two chord song. I finally found this article, https://qz.com/767812/millennial-whoop/ ,which explained this incredibly lame and sleep (and lactate) inducing music phenomena which involves going back and forth between a major 5th and 3rd aimlessly, (like a good little Xanex whiner should). This vocal ‘technique’ is unfortunately popping up in like every hit song now. More likely than not, its a warning to let you know the Illuminati are mind-raping you with the newest Katie Perry hit.

 

Kidnap : Soccer Mom Fury

Usually when I go to see a Halle Berry starring role film, I am just hoping to see some tits. Usually I don’t get to see any tits, and going into this – yes I had a hunch this movie might stink. So I went next door to the pub and had a 9 percent Imperial Stout first and told the ticket seller I was hoping to make it through the whole film but was had my doubts it would be possible. I was surprised though. Kidnap is better than you would think. Here’s the short version of plot, its not that complicated, so see if you can follow. You will see why its not going to be Oscar nominated, though it may win some razzies:

a) man steals kid b) mom chases man to get kid back c) mom kills perps. one by one and takes kid back.

Not to be redundant but for more insight, here is the long version of the plot:

Someone messes with her kid, trying to kidnap him. Halle Berry goes vigilante style on the white trash couple perps in her red mini-van. The whole movie is basically one big long high-way cat-and-mouse car chase. It compares to a badass black momma version of Taken. Get drunk and go see it!

 

Anabelle Sucks

 

OK, so the original “Annabelle” sucked pond water, but “Annabelle: Creation” got good reviews, so I decided to check out. It fucking sucks too! With a lame poster like this, who could go wrong:

They could not think of a better cliché , so instead the opening scenes were the only good scenes in the picture, as they detail the sad (and based on fact) story of a family that has a tragic accident involving a little girl named Annabelle. Where have I seen this before? Well like a thousand other movies (because its supposedly based on a true thing!). Well -so far, so good. But then we get this “Little Orphan Annie” bullshit about the bereaved family letting an orphanage of little Catholoc girls shack up in their luxurious (and creepy) estate which makes no sense. We also get a plot that exploits the disability (polio) of a little girl, including a creepy lift to the upstairs of the house. The little girl unlocks a door she’s not supposed to and soon the jump scares and “Exorcist” and “Conjuring” rip-offs begin. At no point is the orphanage, led by a nun who’s not very bright, ready to pack up and leave despite many terrible things happening. Geez. What’s wrong with the nuns these days??

If you’ve been following this review, you’ll notice that this film is not content with putting little girls in jeopardy, but has decided to double down and put a little disabled girl in jeopardy. Its a movie about whatever it will take to fill seats and sell popcorn basically. After a while, it becomes simply a succession of jump scares. You can go take a leak at any point in this film and you won’t miss anything. Go refill that $7 soda. When this happened, the packed audience became more entertaining than the movie. Dozens of cries of “aw hell no!” as well as predictions of what was going to happen provided the entertainment the film itself was lacking. It was one of those crowds where there is a really low IQ going on, and you have to duck and hide on the way out.

So although the film is slightly better than the first “Annabelle,” it still comes down on pandering to the audience rather than telling a good story. Its like sex with a fat chick, not very good!

Horror fans are advised to skip it and wait for “Stephen King’s It,” which generated more creepiness and atmosphere in a two-minute clip before the film than both “Annabelle” films combined. I have no idea why the crowd applauded loudly at the end. My cash would have been better spent at the racetrack frankly.

Born American Kinda Sucks

Sticking out in the VHS section at the local Goodwill was this film: “Born American,” from 1986, directed by Renny Harlin. Renny Harlin, if you didn’t know, is from Finland and has directed good films like “Die Hard 2” and “Cliffhanger” and bad ones like “The Covenant” and “Driven,” and married Geena Davis for a time. This film seemed to have a great plot: 3 Americans, led by Mike Norris (Chuck’s son) foolishly cross into the Russian border from Finland. There they cause some mayhem and are captured and soon imprisoned.

The film starts out awesome, with lots of tension and explosions. I though I was in for another Red Dawn masterpiece. However, once the action moves to a Russian prison, the film dies. The prison is a singularly unpleasant place and none of the actors has enough screen presence to make us care and want to finish the film. That’s too bad, because the premise had real possibilities and you would think the director could pull it off. Instead, it’s his worst film. This is one bad 1980’s action movie to be avoided, unless you’re looking to remake it using the admittedly gripping plotline. And yes, Mike Norris is a terrible actor, but you probably guessed that already. The bright side is that this movie once again shows that Americans never submit or give up. And that even Chuck Norris’s brother can kick commie scum ass! And to this film’s credit, at least Bill Murray’s younger brother was not cast in this too (Moving Violations was even worse!).

Instant Justice = Instant Fun

Ready for an hilarious bad action movie experience? Check out “Instant Justice” starring Michael Pare and Tommy Kiitaen. Neither of these actors need a huge introduction because Pare starred in “Eddie and the Cruisers,” “Streets of Fire,” “The Philadelphia Experiment,” and “Bad Moon,” while Kitaen was in “Bachelor Party” and “Witchboard.” Pare plays a Marine named Younglood (shades of the Rob Lowe classic from around the same time) whose sister is killed as part of a modeling/prostitution scam run by drug dealers.

Pare infiltrates the criminal underworld in the movie and will stop at nothing to avenge his sister’s death. Tawny Kitaen plays the love interest and potential victim, who apparently showers fully clothed and wants to run off with Youngblood if he’ll stop thinking about vengeance. All of this involves all little gratuitous nudity (not Tawny), drug use, car chases, shootouts, and bad acting. Pare is a poor man’s Stallone, but he has his moments, Tawny is hot with priceless bad ’80’s hair, but she’s not a great actress. The director used a fake name and was never heard from again. This film is definitely so-bad-it’s-good.If you enjoy bad ’80’s action, be sure to get “Instant Justice” from 1986 on VHS!