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Seal’s Albums Are Too Smoothe

Seal released his seventh album a year or two ago. I thought I would give it a chance, to see if pop still has anything to offer. His voice still sounds really great, ironically sounding like a black version of Huey Lewis. There is real passion in his voice (song 6, The Big Love Died, is the best track and it is a downer), which is unfortunately held back by the overly smooth pop music which backs him. There is too much major key synthesizer parts throughout. And the bass is not interesting enough, and sounds too programmed. One truly terrible song called ‘Life on the Dance Floor’ is entirely hard to relate to, and I wish had been cut out of the album. Overall, Seal still proves that his voice is better than other pop artists who have overshadowed him since the 90s, like Bieber and Swift etc.

The sincerity in Seal’s voice , as well as the smoothe mid range timbre of his voice , are his best qualities. His lyrics keep it real, mostly about relationships, and it seems like he sings from personal experience, rather than from fantasy. So there is a poetic maturity to his lyrical content. What Seal needs to do is change the background music to something much more blues oriented, preferably with Chicago blues musicians. But he should do a more up-tempo blues jam album next.

New B Movie Mocks Millenials

Sometimes I get tired of epic films and films that intend to be quality films. When I don’t want to see a film like, for example,
“The English Patient,” “Titanic,” or even the new “Avengers” film, then it’s time to watch something like “Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare.”

This movie, which must be the first to have the production company’s name in the title, is silly drive-in fodder about a group of college students (led by Lucy Hale and Tyler Posey) who get suckered by someone they don’t know into playing a game of Truth or Dare at an abandoned church. Little do they know that there is a demon at the church who takes Truth or Dare too seriously and literally, so much so that Truth or Dare becomes a matter of life and death.

This film is funny, and it’s hard to tell if that’s deliberate or not. One character, for example, dies because he opts not to show his “pool cue” on a dare. This character inspires much laughter because they replay the actor’s lines about his “junk” and “pool cue” over and over again. Another character is made to “come out” to his dad, which shows that this demon has a left-wing agenda.

Basically, this film plays like a veiled attack on millenials and how shallow they are. For example, one student dies because he refuses to admit he forges prescriptions as his “truth.” Although the film is rated PG-13, some of the deaths are imaginative, such as when the aspiring medical student stabs his eye out with a pen.

It’s tough to rate a movie like this because it’s not scary and it’s not very well-written but at the same time is entertaining
and amusing. Director/co-writer Jeff Wadlow, whose last film was “Kick-Ass 2” keeps the pacing fast and the body count high so that we keep watching no matter how dumb the film gets. The actors will never win Oscars but deserve credit for keeping a straight face with such ridiculous material. Ultimately, even though the concept of a deadly “truth or dare” game is so ridiculous, the film works. “Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare” is the horror guilty pleasure of the year, so down some tequila and prepare to laugh with and at this entertaining hokum!

I DARE you!

Chappaquiddick : Get Away with Murder

With sex scandals in the news, especially the one where Trump paid
some bitch to shut up, but she won’t, it is time to examine how to get
away with murder. Ted Kennedy did just that.

There’s a new, refreshingly unbiased film out about Ted Kennedy
called “Chappaquiddick.” It is about the infamous 1969 incident where
Kennedy drove his car off a bridge, which led to a lovely campaign
strategist named Mary Jo Kopechne dying either of drowning or
suffocation. It is not clear exactly how Ted escaped drowning, since
Mary Jo was locked in the car. Instead of rescuing Mary Jo or
reporting the incident when it happened, Ted sat on it for 10 hours
(for reasons no one really understands) before finally calling it in.
By the time he did, Mary Jo was dead and the cover-up begins.

The depiction of the accident is heart-wrenching and sad, but
where the new movie gets really interesting is in its depiction of the
cover-up. Half-brother Joe Gargan, played by Ed Helms, tries to help
Kennedy but disapproves of his actions, and father Joe Kennedy played
by Bruce Dern, can barely speak or write but is furious at Ted and
says only one word: alibi. Robert McNamara is also involved, and the
film ultimately involves a choice on Ted’s part: his career or
(perhaps) his soul.

This is a surprisingly good movie. All the actors are great
in their roles, especially Jason Clarke as Ted, a man with good
intentions who never wanted to be President but must carry on the
family’s legacy. Ed Helms is great in a serious role and Bruce Dern
is a force of nature as the elderly Joe. Kate Mara is able to show a
great deal of humanity in her brief role as Mary Jo. Scenes of Ted
manipulating the press by pretending to be the victim and wearing a
phony neck brace stick in the mind, as does the final scene, real
footage of Massachusetts voters from 1969, most of whom still love Ted
despite the fact that he apparently caused this young woman’s death.
It got me to thinking that maybe Trump should have driven Stormy
Daniels off a bridge; he could then claim to be broken up or in shock
about her death, as Ted did. Problem solved! Anyway, “Chappaquiddick”
kicks ass and you should go see it!

Bjork’s Utopia is Good but Elitist

Bjork has always been bit of a mystery, particularly how her
albums vary in tone, sound, and purpose. “Vaspertine,” for example,
with its ethereal experimentation, sounds nothing like my favorite
album of hers, “Post,” which was more accessible and rousing. After a
couple of albums that I didn’t like and (in one case) even returned,
she’s back with a new album called “Utopia” that sounds like a better
version of “Vaspertine.” The album is sung well and sounds both lovely
and exotic. The most interesting thing about it is the use of exotic
instruments such as the harp, horns, and (for the first time on a
Bjork album) the flute.

After some previous albums which were too experimental and dour,
“Utopia” sounds great and is highly recommended to play
to your girlfriend so you can show her how sensitive you are
and get nookie. Why did it peak at number 75 on the Billboard charts?
I have a couple of theories. Firstly, maybe there needs to be some
more danceable tracks to help the album sound better to Joe and Jane
Q. Stoner. Maybe Bjork is too old to appeal to the youth market,
which prefers garbage like Katy Perry and Taylor Swift. And finally,
I have always felt that quitting acting was a huge mistake on Bjork’s
part. She gave one of the best performances of all time in “Dancer in
the Dark” but hasn’t acted since. In any case, if you are a Bjork
fan or if you like avant-garde music, I highly recommend “Utopia,” a
damn fine album that is a commercial failure but an artistic success.

To Plunder or Not to Plunder?

The US had to bomb Syria this past week, in order to enforce the red line against usage of WMD. Only two NATO allies, Britain and France, aided in the air raid against Syrian chemical weapons factories. The reason the US has only two allies at this point is due to the fact that the United States has been to benevolent of a hegemon, over the last 20 years. In the old days, the United States got paid back by Japan and other first world allies after a war, such as the first Gulf War. Over time, the coalition of the willing has shrunk, and so has the funding from other nations, in terms of repaying the US for its international altruistic actions, in the name of human rights.

Meanwhile, Russia has many allies, and is quickly accumulating oil and mineral resources, throughout the ME. What can the US do to get more allies and get more funding? Plunder.

Like a hungry pit-bull, the US must instill fear, in order to get more allies. Trump is the first president to realize this since Bush I, and in a way, since great unsung presidents like Tyler and Polk, who expanded American territory and wealth.

The reason the US would have more allies if we were honest and open and told the world we intend to plunder through strength, is simply because they would admit to themselves that since they cannot beat us, they should join us. If we do not strike fear in the world, then the other nations will pretend to join us, but then take the benefits associated with that, but then not hold up their end of the bargain, and they will abandon us when we need them the most.

By simply crushing other nations and taking their stuff, we take care of all these problems in one big shebang. That way we don’t have to bother sticking around, and rebuilding, while our young men risk their limbs with IED’s. Trump is absolutely right. Take the oil and get the fuck out of there.

Mortuous is Good USA Death Metal

Mortuous (US) 2012 demo was recently beamed into my time travelling Walkman cassette player. I instantly knew from the brootal guitar tone and super aggressive vocals that I was in for a special treat. Detuned with ultra-thick gain, the knarly slow doom part at 1:22 on Among the Lost is quite pleasing. At 3:24 an epic doom pattern emerges from the leviathan. Track 3, the Eternal Return, is more upbeat overall, and is nicely unpredictable. It still maintains a consistent heavy feel. There’s a nice groovy ride-cymbal beat at the tail-end of that tune.

Obscure Animation, track 4, changes over into a Fleshcrawl Impurity type feel, and then heavy doom again. Beams does a nice job putting his stamp on these riffs. There is a nice melodic solo, which sounds maybe doubled with a piano line.

Subjugation of Will, track 5, gets deeper into an underground feel, more like an old demo tape, but in a good way. Very aggressive blasting and bass pulses by Clint Roach. A strong riff is emboldened at the 1:40 mark, heavy like And Here I Die Satisfied. Subtle guitar solos are sprinkled throughout the recording, which are surprisingly harmonic, like at the 2:30 mark here.

The bonus track Funerealm is even more underground sounding and resembles something like Mortician crossed with Fleshcrawl.

Featuring San Jose’s hella-evil and mucho-underappreciated Mike Beams on guitar, and Chad Gailey on drums, this album slams from the very first song. You feel the blisters and sweat from the attack. These are the old school drums, clobbering you. This album’s inner cassette drips with blood and the severed limbs of those which it conquers as a testament to total human domination. The low vocals sound like they are devouring the high vocals. I give it an A. A really nice mix of heavy doom and blasting. Its like, mandatory listening or they take you out back and shoot you if not (in some small towns in far away lands). Or else they hang you from the Tree of Doom. Its available on Bandcamp, or on vinyl. This album gets you a gold metal- in hell. Go USA!

Sherlocka Holme$ – Club Drown

2. Club Drown

They pulled their sub up next to the other Harley-subs and parked. The club had neon skulls hoisting beers to the right of the door. They swam in.

Looking around the bar, Sherlocka and Throatcrusher only saw two or three unthreatening older Droog types sitting around drinking Aquameg. Most of the drinks were roboticized and served via drones. You could have drugs or vitamins or whatever mixed in too. But they still hired a few bartenders, due to nostalgia.

The owner, Omar Narkoman, was sitting a the end of the bar, drinking. Throatsmasher knew him already, since he had booked his black metal band (Fogkill Deception) there in the past.

“What the fuck happened here Omar?” Thoatsmasher inquired.

“Oh man I have no clue. I showed up here for the active shooter drill yesterday. And I really can’t say any more than that,” replied Omar, reeking of raw albacore. He had chicks hanging off of both shoulders, and a big gold chain.

“Yo, I heard they shot the lead singer of Occult Nepotism, plus everyone in the crowd almost, with a neutron blaster. That was my dog. Was he a truther? Tell me what you know G,” insisted Sherlockda.

“I don’t know shit,” he insisted, putting out his oxygen inhaler-torch, while getting up and trying to leave.

“Not so fast buddy.” Throatcrusher grabbed his collars and threw him against the wall, with an elbow to the face for good measure, followed by an aikido wrist lock control. Some blue gilled-mutant janitors (sub-humans)were trying to mop up the blood streaks. “How come all the bodies appear to have been dragged around, and there are bloodtstain smears everywhere?” pointing to the dark-red smears.

Pointing her own Decap-9000 at Omar’s filthy, sweaty face she said: “Love my bitches but where’s my niggas'”

“What?”

“You heard what I said. Who was in on this Omar? I know you type of scumbags. You were out to collect the insurance money.”

She squeezed the trigger, and millions of protons shot his ear off, with blood spurting out.

“Ok! OK!” the bar-owner screamed. “There was an active shooter drill that day and some teenage psychic kid was somehow involved. That’s all I know. I swear!”

“What was the kids name?”

“Lanza. He is related to the infamous one. He was part of the experiment. They put them in the gifted children program to isolate them and then give them prescriptions and use them as patsies. Look him up.”

“Well, I am gonna need a drink, or ten” insisted Throatsmasher. So they drank mushroom juice cocktails.

After many drinks, a random drunk patron tried to grab on of Sherlocka amazing 34-C breasts. She allowed him to, but then shot him in the kneecap afterwards as a reminder of the MeToo# movement laws, which legally mandated that women make the first move.

“Now if you will excuse me, I must go to the ladies room.” And she placed her weapon back in the holster. This was simply a ruse to go and look for the security room, since there were cameras everywhere, and she wanted to see what had really happened at the crime scene.

Sneaking up behind the operator, who was playing Tetrus 3000 in vintage GoogleGlasses, she placed him in a sleeper hold, and squeezed his consciousness away. Into the datadrive floppy on the Nokia 3400XL she dwelved, and the screen began to show the crime scene. Only, it wasn’t even the band that had been reported playing live by the social media, it was a totally different act performing that night: the awesome legit underground act Dataslaughter didn’t play at all, the social media phenom. Falcons of Rap Metal went on instead and played a bunch of limp-wristed shit. Most people didn’t realize that this band and all of social media, and the deep state were all so closely tied in together.

Singer yells: “Are you all ready to fucking die?” and a bunch of lame shit like that. And hyphey zombie lady was like doing the topless projectile vomit routine to distract everyone. Then all the sudden three mercs dressed in all black walk out and blast everyone with a vacuum photon, cutting them all down like slices of bread.

Suddenly, an alarm went off, and the steel doors slammed shut sideways, sealing.

“This is the deep state. Stay where you are. Do not resist.”

Sherlockda Holme$ and Throatsmasher, blasted their way out through the doors, and fled the bar in their Harley-sub, hooker in tow. Thoatsmasher had found a maiden.

Word about certain weapons getting banned by the deep state was already spreading, causing a big run on them at the rugged barter space. People were so triggered over the issue of the weapons ban controversy, that no one would ever suspect that the deep state was setting everything up like this.

“Where are we going?” asked Throatcrusher.

“To find the real killer, and get that muthafuckin’ bounty dog. You feel me?” replied Sherlockda. “I’m going to Atlantis dog.”

“Are you sure we aren’t playing into the Deep State’s hands Sherlockda?”

“I plan to sleep my way in with the government, and find us some answers G. Then, we’ll make our move dog.”

She allowed Throatcrusher to pick the music this time. He played some Deicide. It went well with he scenery.

The Trial

My name is Franz Kafka. I am very proud of the Mueller investigation, which never produces any evidence against Trump, but just levies charge after charge after charge after charge, without ever having shown a SINGLE THING HE HAS DONE WHICH IS ILLEGAL. Trump has no right to discovery. No right to an attorney. No right to know the charges levied against him. No right to a jury of his peers. It must be clearly understood that Trump has NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS, as this was the deep state’s intention

Go See Prey at Night

“The Strangers: Prey At Night” is a well-crafted sequel in the
John Carpenter tradition, but what’s really interesting about it is
the way it reflects contemporary concerns and anxieties. The
“Strangers” films play on fear of The Other. What is the Other?
Anything that will come, motivated or not, and destroy a couple (in
“The Strangers”) or a family (the new film). You can see these
anxieties also in “The Purge” films (the fourth of which is coming
this summer) and the new “Death Wish” remake. The basic thrust of all
these films is that not only will the government not protect you, but
also that they will force you to take matters into your own hands.

Even though crime has supposedly been falling the last few years,
paranoia is up and people don’t feel safe. The message of these
movies is simple: kill or be killed. You can certainly argue with
this message, but you can’t argue that these films bluntly and
effectively present it. Horror films like these show us what we fear
and also how little we can do to avoid crime. “The Strangers: Prey at
Night” is a terrifying mirror of where we are right now, and as such
is more illuminating than exploitative. It’s unfortunate that horror
films are reflecting current problems, but don’t blame the messenger
for the message. The second installment of “The Strangers” is
recommended and don’t go alone!

Backpage Shut Down Too

Craigslist personal ads shut down recently, as a result of a new bill which accounted liability to websites for things that third parties do. Now Backpage.com personals and escorts pages have also gone down, with the owners of backpage indicted. The excuse the government is giving was that the site aided in prostitution basically. Of course they also tried to tie in under-aged call girls as the rally cry. Society is steadily marching towards an all work – no play type thing, along with religious zealotry, not unlike that in the Middle East. Adults no longer have the right to freely associate on sites such as Craigslist or Backpage. Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and Date Hookup will probably be next. The Constitution in the United States is under siege. The new thing is to interpret everything as impure unless it is done through the church and marriage, and to evaluate all associations grown adults have with each other, including R rated movies and such, through the lens of “What if a 10 year old walks in accidentally?”

We are reverting towards a crayon society. Like a Sesame Street Lite version of the type of Caliphate you see in the Middle East, but a cross of leftist goody too shoe ‘Metoo’ feminism, which has merged with the religious zealotry of the religious far right, and has formed the perfect monster with which to rid single adults of any type of mature fun they might have with each other, simply because religious ‘family’ people don’t approve. Sorry, but it doesn’t mention in the Constitution that you have the right to freely associate with other adults , unless somehow in theory it offends the sensibilities of some religious asshole somewhere.